The Memory Remains
by Dayion
Summary: This is a story I wrote for myself that I decided to post here. The beginning of the prolog is up now.


DISCLAIMER: I do not own Evangelion nor any of the characters in it. This is my lil spiel so I dun get sued. Please don't sue me...I'm broke. And Metallica, please don't sue me for mentioning you.  
  
This is just the preview to my prolog. I will be uploading the whole prolog to my story when I get the chance. I am very busy and work a lot so it makes it hard to keep up with writing. I have most of chapter one finished and the prolog was written after chapter one. So once I get this done I will see what you all think of this and see where to go from there. I just hope you enjoy the story, I know I am a horrid writer but, I will do my best to try and make this as enjoyable as possible. This is also my first time posting a story for anyone to read.  
  
I put the R rating on this story because it will get more active in many ways and I wish to be safe.  
  
One last note, the name of the story is not from the song by Metallica. I wrote a poem around eight years ago named "The Memory Remains" and that poem is the reason for the name. At the time I had never heard the song. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
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Shinji Ikari, a boy who is too afraid to live, who cannot live. The pilot of Evangelion Unit 01. A boy who hides from the world allowing no one to see inside of his soul. Many consider him to be a weak coward, afraid of everything and everyone. They would be right in many ways, he is afraid and cowardly. He doesn't represent great strength, he is not a super hero or even that good looking. In fact he is just another scrawny 14 year old boy with scruffy un-kept dark brown hair. He clams up and stutters, unable to express his feelings and thoughts. He has few friends and even they do not see him as the pillar of strength he is forced to be.  
  
Shinji the coward is also the one person who can save the world and everyone who lives in it. No one looks at this young man and tells him he is great, that they couldn't survive without him. They do not give him credit for being willing to put his life on the line every day just so others can sleep peacefully knowing they will get to live so long as he doesn't run away or die. No one gives this boy their undying love and holds him to keep him safe. No one comforts him at night while he cries and screams silently into his mind, plagued by nightmares of things he cannot remember once he is awake.  
  
When needed most however, Shinji shows the world for a brief moment a side of himself that no one could ever have imagined. Shinji the weak scared boy becomes stronger then anyone. This Shinji is a wellspring of strength, courage and has even been called 'invincible' but, none can get close to this Shinji. This Shinji lives deep within the sad and lonely Shinji and together they both die a little more each day. Giving everything they have to keep standing and keeping others safe. No one knows what makes Shinji fight, Shinji doesn't even know. The pilot lies to himself and everyone around him, even if he doesn't know he is lying. So no one sees this brave man, Shinji Ikari and soon no one will ever know he existed. For how can someone no one knows be remembered once they die and that is what was happening, he was dying, slowly.  
  
Everything Shinji Ikari does is actually taken for granted, they all expect him to do it for them. They don't know how easily he could tell them no, he could make it impossible for the world to go on. It would be simple enough for him to end his own suffering. He could shoot himself while his guardian sleeps or slice his wrists. He could leap from the top of the apartment complex that he lives at, he could drown, that would be simple as he can't swim. If he wanted to be spiteful he could self- destruct his Eva and take the whole city with him but, he doesn't. He gets up every morning and does his job but, that doesn't mean he is going to smile about it. He didn't want to sound cheerful, why should he? He is suffering, dying and even cries when he cant stand the constant pain any longer.  
  
He gets punched, slapped, embarrassed, lied to, talked down to, treated like a stupid kid, hatted, belittled, abused, abandoned and ignored. These are the thanks Shinji gets for all he does. One mistake and he has to deal with every one of those until the people around him are satisfied they have gotten their point across and crushed all of his pride and self worth. Still he dies for them, he keeps his pain to himself as much as he can until, he breaks down and needs to scream. Once he has screamed the faces around him look with pity and disgust. So Shinji keeps to himself and they will never get to know the man that is buried in the boy.  
  
Maybe someone will try to look a little harder, it wouldn't take much really, just a good look. To look into his eyes without trying to crush him, to watch from a distance and see what he tries to hide. Maybe someone will try but, they will need to hurry, Shinji wont be here forever. 


End file.
